Three Photos - Many Struggles - One Team

Work continues on the Kitchen Scale glider.

No...that's not completely true.

Work has come to a complete halt on the Kitchen Scale glider. It has been banished to the corner until I have the patience to work on it again.

This weekend, I was ready to give it away and let someone else take over because I lost my patience with it. Everything about this chair has been a bit of a beast to tackle. The sanding was taking too long, so I decided to paint it. All of the spindles were time-consuming to paint, sand, and oil. Even picking the color was a process because I couldn't figure out what "look" I wanted to go for. The original seat was simple plywood that had warped and cracked until it could barely support anyone's weight. I took it off and cut out a new one in (what I thought was) the exact shape. I had it all upholstered and ready to screw on only to find out that I had cut it too small. To make matters worse, I couldn't screw it in without punching through the new upholstery I had just put on.

Determined to make it work, I bought a ready-made cushion and undid all of my upholstery. Maybe, if I screwed the seat on from the top, it would all be ok.

And then this happened...

My screw completely broke off and became embedded in the wood. No matter how much I pushed, pried, or plucked, that sucker wasn't going anywhere.

Ugh...

Now Marc, my husband, is truly a perfect match for me. He is so patient and little things like this don't phase him at all. He asked me why I was frustrated and upon hearing my plight, he quietly took the chair from the top of the stairs (which is where we put our trash to go out) and set about using our jigsaw to cut the screw flush against the wood. After asking me where I wanted it, I turned my nose up in the air at the chair and said, "in the corner.................please."

The chair had totally hit a nerve.

You might be thinking, "what's the big deal? It's just a chair. Take a breath, girlfriend. All is still right with the world."

But it wasn't. That little chair totally ruined my morning and I couldn't figure out why.

It wasn't until I picked up a book that I haven't read in a long time that it finally clicked.

The chair represented something that I'm usually pretty good at - working on furniture. It frustrated me to no end that I couldn't get it turn out the way I wanted. I had invested a good deal of time, vision, effort, and energy into this stupid...ahem...lovely chair, and it completely burned me up inside that my efforts were being frustrated at every turn.

I'm good at this. This is what I do. What's the deal?!?!

I have been feeling that way about a few areas of my life over the past year, and now that it had entered my beloved "furniture zone", I was ticked.

Before I met my husband, I was a pretty decent rock climber. I was a runner. I was active and I didn't struggle with my weight too often. If I did, I got a handle on it and was in enough shape to feel good about myself come swimsuit season (which I still dread to this day).

When we met (in our rock climbing gym of all places), we were active together all the time. We went on hikes, played ultimate frisbee, and climbed together. We even got our lead certifications on the same day.

And then something happened. I don't know how or when exactly, but I started a downward slope that has left me in the place I'm at right now. Much heaver than I want to be, struggling every morning with what to wear, and feeling so completely overwhelmed at the mountain I have to climb to get to where I was that...much like the chair...I want to sit at the top of the stairs to be taken out to the trash.

I want to give up.

But wait! I was good at this at one point. What happened?

Believing the good was still in there, I took on the weight mountain about a year ago and dove full force into the Whole30 eating program and got wonderful results. I learned so much about nutrition, how your body works, what it needs to function properly, and how your food choices drive all of it. Everything was going pretty well. I did my first successful 30 day round and then I started eating all the bad foods again. So, I gathered myself up and did another round. I even went longer than 30 days AND I started running again! I was doing great until I got sick for about a week and then everything fell spectacularly apart...again.

I put Whole30 and running in the corner and I haven't looked at them since.

I told Marc that I wish I could be more like a guy and not experience the inevitable emotional side of things, to which he responded, "I'm glad you're not a guy."

But seriously...why are things so emotional for women? Why can't I just be objective and task-oriented? It's the same with the chair. All I had to do was buck it up, get the saw out, cut off the screw, and keep going.

But I couldn't.

Instead, I was completely overcome with frustration to the point that I was going to get rid of my project. Hubs said I couldn't because I had come so far. It's almost done. Just see it through.

::Knife to the heart::

I've always been a person who enjoys variety. Routines drive me crazy most of the time. I can't eat the same food every day. I don't want to do the same tasks at work every day. With that comes a propensity to not see things through because I get bored and want to walk away to the next thing.

Contrast that with hubs who would be happy as a clam to eat and do the same thing every day because it's predictable and comfortable. (I told you we're perfectly matched.)

Two members of one team. He loves routine and I hate it. I like the unexpected and he craves the predictable.

So where are we now?

I'm gearing up to do another round of Whole30. I've got my book out and I'm re-educating myself on the reasons why I should and should not eat certain foods. (Knowing the why makes it a little easier when all I want is cheese and crackers.) Hubs and I are also going to start doing our C25K app again.

As far as the chair goes, I haven't psyched myself up to tackle it again. I don't want to do any more damage to my paint job or the chair itself.

And quite frankly, I'm still a little mad at it.

One thing is for sure - I'm a member of the best team ever.